www.iva.co.uk

Hello all think I just want some TLC because I now you can't cure my crohns. I have had another part of my anatomy struck down because of my crohns. Problem been looming for a few months but just put it down to having too much acid ( thats caused by alcohol, orange juice and other things) but not just that apparantly. Had to go on 2 types of strong antibiotics last week but problem not clearned. Doctor says its fistualas (not sure of spelling). Have put a call in to my specialist and awaiting a call back. So I not feeling very happy. Work stressful, daughter home from uni is up until early hours of the morning and disturbs us so not sleeping, have just moved to a different team within my project and they are not as nice as I first thought causing me stress, no money to treat myself and having the "comparison" game with my husband about who is more ill than the other one and who has more stress!!! He's also blaming me for not getting his finances sorted out with mine. After discussions with Melanie the solution is for me to do IVA on my own and him to sort out a DMP - that means for me to sort it!!! because he doesn't do letters and doesn't like speaking to people.

Oh Elizabeth, wish there was something I could say to make it better, all I can do is listen and say how sorry I am. You seem to have a lot going on but yet you find time to give support on here.

Are you off ill from work at the moment? Does your daughter realise how she's adding to your stress?

Here's some TLC from me xxx

Hi Elizabeth sorry to hear your not feeling to good. Don't bother with the comparison game with your husband you will never win!!!! I know how hard it can be when you're not happy at work and not feeling well also. It just gets to be too much sometimes. That's the good thing about this list you can get loads of sympathy and advice on the same forum.

Thinking of you Elizabeth, as an ex nurse I know how debilitating crohns can be, so you have my sympathy. My husband is exactly the same, I have to do everything for him, so it infuriates me when I'm making a call on his behalf, and know all is details, security questions, PINs etc, that I can't speak to people! I have to get him to put the phone on speaker and then tell him what to say!!
As for the 'illness' competition, I'm sure my husband's phantom pregnancy was worse than my real one!
Keep your chin up & hope you feel better soon xx

Thanks for the support. Not off at the moment - was off work from last October to March due to minor op kicking crohns off again. If this doesn't improve may have to come off again - just hoping that I don't ahve to have surgery which I have avoided up to now for crohns - my specialist only operates as last resort. Though I had it all under control but obviously not. I am on tablets for anxiety, changed section at work because I thought would be less stressful but is more so. Have had various words with daughter and she knows how things are for me. The words work for a little while and then she finds something else to wind me up about. Most of the time I let it go over my head but my husband makes it worse by going on about it. I am having counselling at work and has suggested that we have "couple" counselling - I think thats a very good idea. By the way if we manage to get to the Frugal Friends meeting in Bradford my husband will be with me so mum's the word - I know I don't really have to say that. Hubbie has a lot of good points and I am not saying anything on hear actually that I haven't said to him.

hi elizabeth have tried talking to somebody like NACC they have helped me loads with my UC i have been off work since april it was nice to talk to people who know what its like

lady h have a look on www.nacc.org.uk it tells u loads

Hey Elizabeth, I'm really sorry you're feeling rubbish. You always seem to have so much to cope with and very little help. I wish I could help you. What I can do is give you a big hug next Saturday (without hubby knowing what it's for)[:I] Thinking of you. Viki X

hi elizabeth if u need someone to talk to who knows what u are going through please get touch plus i will be at bradford steve

Hi Elizabeth

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you ... you offer so much support on this Forum to others ... so the very least we can do is offer YOU some TLC [:)]

Debbie

my friends husband has crohns and i know how how much it affects your life

I hope you are feeling abit better soon. X