www.iva.co.uk

I got pulled over by the police and fined for driving in one of the Olympic lanes.I tried to argue that it wasn't clearly marked or signposted, but they weren't having any of it.They said that I should've noticed something was wrong when I started knocking down the hurdles.

oh dear !!!
Still, at least it was short and not a marathon

I applied to be 'sponge man' for the british ladies beach volleyball team.
The chap on the phone said "you need to go to Swindon mate".
I said "is that where the enrolment is?", he said "no, London, but that's where the queue starts"

You can always try towel boy for the synchronised swimming team OT