www.iva.co.uk

Not coping very well at all with the iva programme at the min. I feel sooo trapped and guilty on all levels. The cars in for its MOT this week and i know that its going to be costly. Recieved a letter from school today stating our 6 year old isnt meeting learning targets. of which i blame myself from having now to work full time to sort out this mess. Then My 75 year old grandma who looks after our children whilst we're at work has fallen today on her way to school for the boys and really hurt herself and it has really shook her up. Her hubby - My grandad is currently under going chemo too. I really dont know how i'm going to carry on for another 3 years.

Goodness me, you've enough to cope with by the sounds of it without the added pressure of the IVA!

My car needed repairs and we asked cleardebt if we could reduce our next months payment to cover what we didn't have and they agreed so that might be worth an ask? Had to increase the following months payments but it allowed us to get the car fixed.

Don't blame yourself for your child not meeting their targets. I work in a school and know full well that children fluctuate, what they can do perfectly well in class they suddenly forget when being tested!

There have been several times over the past three years when I've felt really low and the forum has pulled me through - especially reading other people's blogs. without meaning to sound like I get pleasure from other people suffering, sometimes I have found things put into perspective by reading about other people's problems.

We've told no-one about the IVAs and I find it really lonely and sharing stories with others really helps me. I do talk to hubby but it's not the same somehow.

Hope you and your gran are feeling a little better soon. x

Oh dear Debbie you really have got a load to deal with at the moment. Its so hard sometimes especially when everything hits you at once! I hope you Gran is going to be ok - hate it when they fall because their bones can be so brittle and break easily. Is there anyone else close to you who could help with the kiddies? If that car of yours costs a packet to repair why not ask for a payment break to get it fixed. Just remember that if you have to stay at home or reduce yours hours to look after the children then your IP could arrange for a variation meeting to maybe reduce your payments. Whatever you decide to do, stay strong because you have done brilliantly so far x x

Thanks guys for the support. The journey has been tough and lonely. My hubby is just the best and we do talk. We havnt told anyone of the iva bar our virtual friends and it hasnt been easy. But probably easier than telling anyone. Unfortunately we have no-one else to help with our boys, I lost my mum when I was young and my hubbys parents dont believe in me working so wont help with the children.
I would love to reduce my hours so we dont have to rely on my elderly grandparents especially as my gran is losing it too and rapidly. More than just old age - and wont seek medical help, but if i did that would completely rule out any payment for the iva and we certainly dont want it to fail

I am so sorry to hear your news and I know where you are coming from with regards your child. About a year into my IVA my daughter was showing signs of Dislyxa (I know I have spelt it wrong) and I felt so guilty because it was always work work work. She was in her 1st year in secondary school and was well below average even during primary school I had never been told this. I didn't have the money for expensive tutoring and I felt so guilty because I alone had got myself into the financial mess we were in. I decided to set aset a half an hour each day to talk to her about school and her fear of reading etc. After a few weeks things started to improve and last week she was given award for the best student in year 11 at school and is getting A's and B's in her GCSE first year so please don't worry children can sense that but just try and put aside a few minutes each day to talk about school and everything will be find. Sorry for the long reply but I know what it felt like and there is light at the end of the tunnel. I hope things start getting better soon[:)]

I have dyslexia and my mum didn't work. One of my brothers always struggled at school and his mum didn't work either. It makes no difference whether you were at home or not as we are who we are and our talents lie in different places. Don't beat yourself up about it!! x

Brook it is amazing the things she has overcome and she has to get it a 110%, her sister is so different it just comes natural so I am so proud for her for overcoming her difficulties and addressing it and not making excuses

I wouldn't swap my dyslexia away. I quite like it as it makes you think differently to other people and see the world in a different light. Besides, people with dyslexia are usually quite intelligent but just don't do well in written tests so she is probably brighter than she's given credit for.

I always said my D in exams was worth double because I scored those points answering only half the questions! If I'd had time to answer the rest of the questions I could have doubled my marks LOL!!

Not many people get say they have an IQ of zero x

don't feel low...we are here to support you and to listen to your concerns...never a time when there is no one about so don't be afraid to post....things will get easier and you will smile again soon x

Thanks all. I'm hoping this dark cloud will lift soon

I'm sure it will - we are all behind you.

I hope you feel more positive very soon. x

Every cloud has a silver lining! Things will look better soon. The lows are inevitable in an iva but think about how great it will be when you are debt free and have the opportunity to enjoy your money and live the life you want for your family without the stress of credit cards and gigantic overdrafts...it will all be worth it

I feel really low today too. Life is certainly not easy is it! At least you know there are other who are going through the same. I really hope youa re feeling a bit better tomorrow. Some people keep telling me that they cant sleep but I am the exact opposite. I could stay in bed all day and all night drifting in and out of sleep!

I know how you feel Money I to get days where I just lay in bed going into of sleeps usually on Saturday's when I am off work. Somethings I wish I could push a button and my IVA would be over and everything completed but then I realise I am wishing my life away and missing out on so many memories with my family. Life can be so hard sometimes[:)]