www.iva.co.uk

I can't even believe I'm writing this...

My sister and her husband are getting a divorce. The ******* near enough told her he'd had enough and left for his parents with everything settled in his mind.

Her intention is to petition for disertion but this will take time.

In the meantime I'm worried about how she will cope financially. He earns six figures though some comes as a bonus but his basic is over £70k. My sister on the other hand is on maternity leave and for the next couple of months won't have any money coming in. When she does go back to work it will be three days a week as their child, still a baby really, needs child care and it will wipe out her salary if she works any more.

I know there are experts on all sorts of things here and I don't know where else to turn. I'm heartbroken for her but while they see if they can save their marriage she still has to pay the bills and raise their son.

Does anyone know what she is entitled to in benefits and what she can expect in support from her husband/ex/not-sure.

As a child of divorced parent I don't believe in gentlemen's agreements when it comes to these things!

BOL - so sorry to hear about your sisters problems.

Best place to check for benefits is the CAB. They will let her know what she is entitled to.

I hope they can get back together.

I hope your sister does what's best for her in the long run BOL. I totally agree awith you about not trusting a " gentlemans agreement". I learnt that mistake personally.

Try and get your sister to contact the DSS, they will be able to say what she is entitled too and at least get the ball rolling if they do not get back together.

She's lucky to have you x

I'd also add he can keep her and the child, he chose to change their lives and until it's all sorted for her financially then he will have to foot the bill.

CAB is a good place and maybe someone on here will be able to help.

Hope your sister is ok and I'm sure she's receiving good support from you x

Thanks Guys! This has come like a bolt out of the blue to her. He only left Friday and today he was already more distant and not keen to talk. Everything seems resolved n his mind but my sister has a lot to talk about because he can't give her any answers about why he feels their relationship has changed.

I hope they can resolve this as they really were the perfect little family with C coming up to his first birthday and a pretty house in a nice village and affectionate with one another, a buzzing social life, my sister gets on so well with the in-laws...and now this.

It isn't what I wanted for my sister and I don't want to see her struggle as a single parent.

I'll do all I can to support her but it's really hard that I can't take the financial pressure off. She's my little sister in case you hadn't guessed!

I'm really sorry BOL - sounds as though everything was ideal but of course you don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

Perhaps he needs a bit of breathing space and it will all come right in the end. Let's hope so anyway.

Hi BOL
CAB do have all the info you need, but I do know that if the net take home pay of the non resident parent is more than £200 per week, then the basic CSA maintenance is 15% of their take home pay for one child, and 20% if there are two children. It also sounds as if she would be now entitled to Child Tax Credit, as CSA payments are not classed as income for their purposes. Hope this helps

Thank you all! i'll let her know about CAB and the DSS too.

He has been seeing a counsellor for a few weeks and it sounds as if he is struggling with depression or the pressure of becoming a dad or something so hopefully all he needs is a bit of headspace.

I'm signing off now for the night as I need to lose myself in a silly film and go to sleep early. It is as emotionally draining as when I separated from my own long-term boyfriend last year! We got back together so I'm hoping they will too.

Fingers and toes crossed xx

Everything crossed for them BOL.

Fingers crossed here too BOL ...enjoy your film and hope you get a good nights sleep. x