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Hi All,
Sorry I've been away for so long but I've been on a long and hard journey - you wouldn't expect anything else from me....but last April my lovely OH got suddenly diagnised with terminal cancer.
It started with back pain then foot drop and things escalated from there. Gary was eventually diagnosed with primary kidney cancer with multiple secondaries - brain, spine, hil, etc, etc.
I've been his main carer for almost a year now, and he's still here!!
At the start he was given 3 - 6 months (in April) and we brought the wedding forward and married in July, with a blessing in August 2010. Both days were superb and I love him more now than ever. I hope you can forgive my absence, but I've been all over the place and am still rather emotional!!
I hope yu are all well and happy, I've missed you all,
Lots of love,
Chardonnay xx

Chardonnay it is wonderful to see you again, I have wondered wher you were.

I am so, so sorry to hear your bad news but pleased he is still around and hopefully will be for a long time. Understandable that you haven't been around. At least you were able to marry and I'm glad you had two excellent days.

My thoughts are with you both and I'm sending you a big hug )))))))HUG(((((((.

It's good to hear from you again Chardonnay - I've wondered how you are.

I'm so sorry to hear about Gary, and I'm glad you had two lovely days for your wedding and blessing. I hope he's still here for many years to come as you deserve some happiness as I know you've had a tough time in the past.

A friend of mine was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was given less than a year to live, and that was 8 years ago so stay positive xxx

Tanks Kallis & Skippy,
I really appreciate your welcoming me back - I've neglected veryone on the site and not given helpmand advice I amy have. That makse me feel bad, so your friendship means a lot. xx
Gary and I will not live a long and happy life, he really is terminal, the Oncology Hospital have walked away,, it's not financially viable to treat Gary, so all we have left is our hospice care. We've come to terms with that and knbow what will happen, funeral planned, etc, etc. At 44yrs old on 15th March it does seem so unfair, but you have to deal with the hand life deals for you
I can't beleive I am here again - am I the Black Widow??!!
Love you lots,
Chardonnay xx

Chardonnay -- Hi -- we have not "met" before, so thought I'd say "hello". I hope you and Gary have many days left together and am sure you will both enjoy your time together.

When my mum had terminal cancer we found Macmillan were a great support for both her and us.

Chardonnay, what can I say. It's really awful and you deserved a break having had such a tough time.

Don't feel bad at all, your time with Gary is much more precious than time on the forum. We'll all still be here afterwards to help and support you if you need it.

As Foggy - suggested use the Macmillian Team - well they are to support you both, but also to offer advice on any finanical help/social health that may be available. Or sometimes just a shoulder to cry on

Although you time may be very limited together - hope you both can spend time doing what you really want to do - and not worry to much about the mundane things !! - Best Wishes

Chardonnay, Hi, I'm so sorry to read about Gary and so happy that you brought your wedding forward and experienced your two days of wedding and blessing.

You're sounding like a strong lady and what time you have with Gary is going to be so precious and cherish every moment. Life can be unfair at times and this is on of those times.

All the best Chardonnay a big hug for both you and Gary winging it's way to you. xxxx

Thanks everyone,
Please excuse my spelling mistakes - you should read every message before you press send!! I know, more than most, that life can be hard. Still I count my blessings that I met Gary, and have had some time with my soul mate - I will be eternally grateful for that - I have had an experience most can only dream of and I know I am so lucky...xx
We have palnned Gary's funeral and at the end I know he will be back with his mum and dad, back where he belongs.....xx
I've missed you all and love you lots,
Chardonnay xx

We missed you too. Emjoy this time with Gary, you're much stronger than me with being able to cope with this and sort things out.

Love from me as well.
xxxxxxxxx

Hi Again, Sorry but I tried to answer some posts, but my technology skills have let me down and I've lost my replies...no improvement there!
I have to sign off as Gary needs me for some nursing care.....
Love you all and again, sorry for my absence which was quite selfish when others need our help.#Chardonnay & G xx

It wasn't selfish at all Chardonnay - Gary needs you! Just pop in from time to time to let us know how you are.

you look after yourself Chardonnay you're not selfish at all so you spend your time with Gary and when you feel like it pop back and see us. Thinking of you xx

Not at all selfish, you must be where you're needed the most and thats with Gary. Enjoy every precious moment together. Make sure you also look after yourself too.

Best wishes to you both xxx