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Diary of a feline exposed!

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
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DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair...must try this on their bed.
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DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.
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DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
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DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid.
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DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
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DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue. (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured.
But I can wait; it is only a matter of time

[:D][:D]

My furry little friend wants to kill me at the moment - we bought a breadmaker yesterday and we're making our first loaf. We put the machine on the work surface above Harry's bowl, and as he went to have his tea the machine made a noise and he backed off and was looking at his food as if it had made the noise!

I cannot believe that I said 'as he went to have his tea'...

Happy birthday to your kitty cats Helen xxx

My cat has just been killed by a dog, and my other cat got killed by a car a couple of months ago - I have decided that I am not cut out to own cats. I fully intended keeping them indoors, but they kept pestering to go out, and then took to jumping out of windows whenever they found one open, so I thought it was safer to give in, and let them out the back door. [:(]

Oh no, that's so sad. I don't blame you for feeling like that, I know I would as well x

Sorry Up to my neck to hear about your cats so sad, We lost a cat a feww years ago he got trapped in an illegal trap and was there for several days before he was found, I won't say what state he was in as it is too sad.

I am going away tomorrow for a couple of days and my neighbour is feeding the boys, boy will they sulk when I get home on Tuesday night, they will feel so neglected and hard done by--bless.
Jan

I've only just read this uptomy neck and I'm so sorry to read it. Hope you're ok? x

I'm sorry to hear about your cats as well. The loss of a pet is horrible.

My big boy was used for hare coursing when he was young. As he wasn’t frightened of dogs he must have stood his ground. The vet said it was only the fact that the dogs threw him in a bramble bush that he was still alive. He was in a hell of a mess when he got home three days later. It took him 6 months to recover but still he chased the dogs around the mound where we live. In his old age he took to sleeping under my car wheels and yes I ran him over. Once again he crawled home and I took him to the vet but he was too ill that time and the vet put him to sleep while I cuddled him. I still miss him. I love the two we have now but they are not Ziggy.

Oh Carole, that made me cry. What a lovely cat, and no wonder you miss him. Why don't you ask Admin to change your avatar to your cats?