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Posted: **Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:27 am**

Many of us "Old Folks" (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering near 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combination's DO NOT go together And should be avoided:

1 A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker
And last, but not least...
13. Thongs and Incontinence Pads

[:D][:D][:D]

We all need a little titter don't we

Posted: **Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:31 am**

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 miles from his home and leaving him at the road side. As he arrived home, the cat was waiting on the doorstep. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 miles away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further, and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a hundred miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answered, "Put him on the phone, I'm lost and need directions."

Posted: **Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:00 am**

[:D][:D][:D]

Posted: **Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:04 am**

[:D][:D][:D]

Posted: **Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:43 am**

Tee hee

Posted: **Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:40 pm**

lol x

Posted: **Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:38 pm**

A 65 year old man and his 64 year old wife were having breakfast one sunny morning when they were visited upon by a fairy godmother.

I bring you one wish each, she says.

I want to travel the world with my husband, see the sights that we could never afford to see, says the wife.

No problem, says fairy godmother, at whooosh two tickets appeared from nowhere.

I want a wife 30 years younger, said the husband.

Whoosh the husband was transformed into a 95 year old with one shake of fairy godmothers wand.

What did you do that for? said the husband.

Your wish was granted sir, always remeber fairy godmothers are flippin, female, you old git...you.

Posted: **Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:41 pm**

[:D][:D][;)]

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