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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 1:25 pm
by siorghra
Hi, I have a slightly different slant on DLA. IF you are receiving DLA for a child, should this be included with your income in an IVA?

Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 1:52 pm
by freelili
Hi there and welcome

Yes it is included for income purposes, however please make sure you off set amounts that you and your child needs to have a good quality of life.

Your child may incur extra expenditure, hospital visits, day out (to keep you all sane) and the extra washing and drying costs. It is also important to remember, 5 years is a long time in a childs life and ever changing needs of a disability cannot always be forseen so make sure you allow for this.

Good luck, I hope this helps.

Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:53 pm
by Lisa2009
Also, make sure you ask for a higher clothing allowance for the child.
You can also offest extra costs for any special foods, rubber gloves etc. Even the smallest of things add up and do have to be paid for so anything you may think is necessary, you should add to your expenditure.

Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:56 pm
by MelanieGiles
Your DLA for your child ought to be entirely absorbed by expenditure relating to your child - ie none of it is used to pay over to creditors.

Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 11:50 pm
by siorghra
Thanks for the replies everybody. I was just a bit worried that some of the DLA money might be offset against my debts. I have to account for every penny that my child receives and it is harder than I thought to add up all the small things!!

Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 2:02 am
by freelili
Trying to remember what I put down.

My son used to chew through school jumpers on a daily basis, extra bedding, extra washing, gloves. School trips, special schools need money every week. Hospital visits, car parking, special treats for my other 'normal' daughter, who misses out on enough normality as it is. Hospital parking, meals, baby sitting the other kids while visiting another in hospital. Tumble drying, older nappies, although I did get some free ones, clubs, respite care. Extra contigencies for extra use of washing machine and tumble drying, (if the laundry equipment breaks down and theres nothing in the kitty for repair or replacement, I would go ga ga). extra washing powder. Expenses incurred on the free holiday given by Joseph Rountree. Extra petrol for hospital visits and for picking up other cared for children. Lost earnings for caring for a child that is likely to be sick more often than normal and you only get three days special leave in a year. Lost clothes, damaged clothes, if you cant take them off just take youre frustrations out on them, damage to household equipment, particularly TV remote controls in my case. (who needs toys when you can take these things to bits, eh?)

I have to have window locks and bolts on doors, very good fencing in the garden. Some of my friends have special toys for their children, obtained through the school, much more robust, much more expensive. Soft play ( I dont need this though) higher bed, its tough on the back constantly bending to change etc. ??? prescription costs, youre more likely to suffer with stress and depression, with the added pressure. Care for your children when youre ill. It adds up.

Then there are food allergies which have to be catered for.

I cant remember any more but if I do I will post them.

Good luck, sorry its garbled, note the time.

Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 8:38 am
by Charles
Wow!, how many disabled children do you have Lily??

Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 9:26 am
by freelili
2 at home and 1 in supported housing. Its genetic, I didnt know.

Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 9:25 pm
by Charles
My...... Lily that must be a challenge, I have one cerebal palsy and in a wheelchair, what ages and what disabilities do yours have, hard isnt it to cope sometimes.

Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 9:42 pm
by freelili
Yes, sometimes, its a challenge. To be honest you get as much back. One has aspergers, the other two have autism, one had really bad OCD, like he worries about germs and the house catching fire and just about everything else, he had a GNT tube as he was starving to death too afraid of food poisoning, he washes the skin off his hands. The other has, epilepsy, heart, kidney, problems, gluten intollerance. My sister has a cerabal palsy child too, she had menigitis when nine weeks old and is lucky to be here.

I dont worry anymore, there is no point, what will be, will be. I just enjoy the lovely things they do, how they cope and love each other. I can only do so much, I am a single mom, so I do what I can and what I cant do doesnt matter. As long as they are happy, I am happy. Mine are not totally dependant like yours, they can do things for themselves. I think the worst thing is when you have other problems, like you are ill yourself or debt of course and then it becomes, really hard work.

We help each other through debt problems on here, so youre in a good place.

Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 8:18 am
by Charles
How on earth do you cope, I find it hard enough, my son is 8, I think it will get harder as he gets older, how old are yours?, its good to talk with poeple with similar problems.

Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 9:08 am
by freelili
My eldest is 23 now, he has just started at university, he became a daddy too 8 weeks ago. Then the others are 18, 16 and 13.

I would say cope is the wrong word, more like muddle through. As they get older it has become easier for me. They have to be taught to cope with different situations and the same situations in different circumstances, we are getting there. My eldest is very clever but lives with terrible stress, just two nights ago he rang me up at 2 in the morning, unable to face uni the following day. I talked him through it and he wentback the following day. I gave him Mrs skints signiture in a text message to work out, it took his mind off his stress.

I think its so much easier when everything else in your life is going smoothly. Getting into debt was a nightmare for me but I found the site and its all over now. How are you coping with your debt problems?

Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 9:18 am
by Beans on Toast
And here's me thinking that 5 years doing an IVA is stressful, the debt will come and go, all of you in this situation have my utmost respect, I could not possibly conceive the life you have (or don't as the case may be).

You and your children deserve every penny you claim.

Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 10:45 am
by Charles
As I say must be hard for you especially in the teenage years!

The debt is another issue, not sure yet if I want to disclose that info beady eyes and all that, I am due a small windfall, not sure if I will pay some of the debt off or wait a while.....still giving it some thought.

Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 11:28 am
by freelili
Dont worry about disclosing here, this is a debt forum and we have all faced such problems. If youre using you real name, change it. I sure there will be someone here to help advise of the best way forward. People come here from all walks of life, at the brink of despair due to debt. Most find a solution and life becomes bearable again, there is hope. Given the problems facing you with your 8 year old, life must be very difficult.

Whatever your debt problems are there is bound to be someone here who has faced or is facing similar. Its a brave thing to admit and its even braver to find a way through it.