www.iva.co.uk

This is the only place I can really talk about this. I’m home recovering from brain surgery which I had a week today, can’t sleep and I’m having a meltdown that everyone knows about my IVA as it just hit the IR on Tuesday. I’m in torment with this and just don’t know where to turn or what to do

People are unlikely to know about the register and would have no reason to search it unless they are in a similar position so please don't let that get to you. Glad your op went ok and you are on the road to recovery. Rest assured that we are all here to support you and you can talk to us anytime. Try and relax and let the IVA flow - we have all been there so know what you are going through.

I feel as if my life is such a mess at the moment, being off ill with this tumour. I have a good job and in a position of authority so all of this is just soo much shame and embarrassment for me. I’m trying to hold everything together but the two things coming together IVA and tumour has been a nightmare. I thought having a debt solution in place would of helped take the stress off the tumour but all I feel is guilt, shame and embarrassment with this all. I’ve failed as a mam, wife and don’t feel as if I am worthy of anything, like I shouldn’t have a nice meal or anything like that. I really don’t know how I’m going to go on with 6 years of this. Sorry for the negative post, I’m emotionally all over the place, worried about my job when I do eventually go back to work.

Please don't feel embarrassed and concentrate on getting well, everything else is being sorted. You have failed at nothing and having taken the right steps towards debt freedom. If you want to speak to anyone on here and are on FB you can always ask Foggy to pass on your details to me and I am happy to chat.

How do I pass my details to him to pass to you privately

He will hopefully pick up on this and send me your details.

Hopefully he will pick up on this today.

Hi Blade. As requested by Kallis, I have sent you her email address to get in contact off forum. The mail comes from some idiot known as Maddogmulgrew *at* aol *dot* com

I'm not sure if it helps but I did the 6 years without anyone finding out. Be kind to yourself you are doing the right thing. I hope you feel better soon

I am slowly recovering from a brain tumour removed, week one out of hospital. However the shame of this IVA is hindering my recovery as I can’t sleep and keep waking up with this all going through my head. I know things would of got worse if I didn’t go down this route but when you receive legal paperwork and the chairman’s report saying bankruptcy you realise how bad things are.

Some people can go through life and they would not even care enough to be worried.

You do care and are taking responsibility.

Beating yourself up is normal but as you work through the process you should find that whilst you might always be ashamed, you can also be proud that you did the right thing and had the courage to try and sort things out.

Did you receive my contact details Blade?

Yes I have your email address from foggy.

Kallis I appreciate your offer about contacting you directly but I don’t think anyone can make me feel any better about this situation. I’m trying my best to convince myself I have done the right thing, the only thing really as what else could I do, but I think it’s just happened at a bad time, could there ever be a good time. IVA you pay a lot more back than bankruptcy but really I feel they have the same stigma attached to them and it’s very shameful. I have soo much going through my head. I have kept this very quiet but it’s hard to live with.

If you want to just get things off your chest or just a chat, I am there. I've been there with the IVA and found solace with people on here with whom I am still friends off forum on FB and also have met them. Remember the offer is there.