www.iva.co.uk

Oh Lem I have come close to telling the kids so many times. The pressure is really intense isn't it. Your daughter sound like a lovely and thoughtful child and you must be very proud of her. I'm sure you did the right thing and now she will be more understanding when you have to say no or maybe lets look in Primark instead of Next x

Bless her lem!!!! Glad it's all sorted out now and it's out in the open.

Hopefully she's learned her lesson.

I'm glad everything is sorted out now lem x

Lem she probably understood more than what you think are son is 12 years old and he knows about are iva which does help.

Sounds like you have a lovely daughter. Now she can get involved in bargain hunting with you

Lem that is lovely the 76p...oh bless her heart. Best to be honest Lem and now she understands it's hard for all of you and you're not just depriving her x

I have to admit I am impressed your kids are so understanding. My kids are 12/13 and sometimes appear to understand but at other times (with all the raging teenage hormones) just get angry at me because I can't provide them with STUFF and we have another 3 years to go. I have sold what few valuables I possessed(jewellery etc) to give them additional treats on top of my IVA budget; trips through school, cinema, parties, nice clothes, shoes, sports activities and they still keep asking for more (it seems like every day!) but I don't have anything left to sell now. I find it very, very hard!!

It can be very difficult for kids to accept whats happening and for me was the hardest part of our insolvency because I always felt our son was missing out on things!!!

Paul

I have always felt the same as Paul. I felt my elder 3 had the benefit of my stupidity and the youngest one has suffered. Having sai that it has made her stronger. x

Hi everyone,
my wife and I have two kids (12/14) and I agree with your observations. Sometimes I have the feeling that they are really angry at us for not being able to pay them certain things but they try to keep their anger on the inside. It makes me really sad but then I say to myself that they still have everything they need, we just can't afford any extras...
It definitely makes them stronger I think but it still hurts to see them suffer from our mistakes.
I found this short video about children and debt, it has become a really important issue with increasing university fees!

I KNOW my kids are angry at me! My daughter more than my son....he is less bothered about labels & clothes etc. But my daughter is not really trying to keep her anger in on the inside....it's all spilling out! Typical teen hormones I suppose but very difficult for me to manage all my own. It's hard when they ask me...."mum are we poor?". Breaks my heart but yes we are...we are poor.

Thank you Thomtom for your post...that video is interesting. Yes kids need to be taught how to budget....really it should be part of education...budgeting and all that. Does anyone know how many people in the UK are currently bankrupt or in IVA plans? That should tell our great leaders that we could do with better education all round.

Trixie - i feel for you. All kids want more stuff no matter how much they have! That doesn't make it easier for you though when you are doing your best to provide for them. They are learning valuable lessons from you and will appreciate the life-skills when they are older.

trixie I feel for you I am in a similar boat I have a 15 and 14 year old daughter and they are so demanding but alot of it is peer pressure. I try my best and have explained to both of them that the next year will be tight and hopefully if everything so to plan I will finish my IVA next year and we will have the best holiday ever good luck

We have recently got out the other side of insolvency and have started to put £50 a month from child benefit money directly into sons savings account(which he has a cash card for). He puts birthday money etc into it and knows that if he wants to splash out on a label item of clothing he pays for it himself. A massive amount of peer pressure is put on teens and I have tried to explain to him that when he goes out clothes shopping he should take his time and shop around,he has already worked out that you get loads more for your cash at primark type shops.

He has suffered because of our mistakes,there is no doubt about that. we havent had a family holiday anywhere for the last ten years(we went to florida 2 years in a row which didnt help the credit card balances!!!). We have a few jobs to do on the house and then its a big savings push and a holiday to florida again(paid for in cash this time).

Paul

We did the same big family holiday to Flordia mainly on plastic about 6 months before I entered into the IVA I still had my head buried in the sand then. I have also promised my daughters after if my IVA completes next year as it is suppose to then we will start making the monthly payments towards a holiday to Flordia the following year 2014 hopefully and this time it will all be paid in cash