www.iva.co.uk

Hi everyone I started my IVA one year ago and it's been a scary lonely journey. So far I have kept it from everyone except my sister.

How do you tell a new boyfriend about an IVA? Its been six months and its getting serious. The idea of living together has started to come up, but all I can think is that I wouldn't pass a credit check! I know it's really shallow but I do feel ashamed of the IVA

Its certainly not something you want to share with everyone but its not a reason to put life on pause either.

Does he have any clue at all about the IVA,or that you have debts?

If you do tell him make sure that you explain fully the ins and outs of it,so he knows what its all about.

No-one knows how he will react but if he loves you,well frankly this shouldnt make any difference.

Good luck when you do tell him.

Make sure he knows as long as you keep your finances split theres no reason for it to affect his credit rating.

Paul

I would wait until credit cards/debts are mentioned on the news and say something like, I was worried last year that my debts would get out of control and made a decision to sort it over 5 years by taking an IVA. You can make it sound like you've done your creditors a favour!

When I told my parents they rang me the following day to tell me how proud they were that I was tackling things and facing up to my problems (they don't know how much debt I was in tho!!!)

Not the same, and in a light hearted vein. When I was in trouble with my mum I used to build her up to thinking I had practically commited murder. When I eventually got to tell her that I had broken a window she was so relieved I was let off scot free !!!!!

lol. [:D][:D]

My parents would kill me!!

I could never tell anyone over our problems. I am far too ashamed. To the point where I couldnt do any of the frugal friends gatherings as someone would see me face to face. (silly I know) Glad I've got my Hubby. I do feel you should be honest and upfront with your partner. I dont think you should have anything to worry about. It might help to share your problems x

I think that you should just be honest with him, even if you feel awkward about it. After all you were brave enough to face up to sorting out your IVA to get a better future for yourself. And you will only have a future together if you can be honest with each other. He may have debts of his own! I am actually not ashamed of my debts, you just have to get on with it. Do let us know how you get on and I wish you all the very best x

This is a very interesting thread as I keep thinking when (or if) I finally meet someone will I have to tell them im in an IVA and if I eventually began living with someone would they have to provide sll the same paperwork I did in order for their contributions to be taken into account

I will be truthful its things like this I didnt contemplate at the time but worry sbout now not that I would change things for the world. IVA was the best decision I ever msde.

I think you just need to go with the flow. When you meet someone there are a thousand and one issues which should, at some time, be addressed. Generally they come up naturally. Whar religion are they? Do they want kids? Do they want to get married ? etc etc

Have you ever discussed money/debt with him before? perhaps now would be the time to do that to establish what his feelings are towards debt and finances etc before you take the plunge, after all if you do decide to move in together, you would want to know you were both on the same wavelength moneywise anyway to make it work. From his reactions and your discussions on what he thinks about debt and managing money would give you a better indication then as to how he would react to you telling him about your IVA, good luck with whatever you decide

Tel him. If he hugs you, he's the one. If he reacts badly, you can have my phone number lol. Seriously, if he doesn't like the sound of it and doesn't think all the more of you for facing up to your responsibilities and putting things back on track, ditch him. There's so much more to life than money and debt [or wealth!], and a bad reaction on his part will just demonstrate that he doesn't really think that there is.....

Have we scared the OP off??

Paul

I think you should def discuss it early on then they can decide if they are ok with it or not.

I only just got mine accepted on the 18th of this month and had just started a relationship some 6 months earlier.

I told her everything from about week 3 ... my theory was that I want honesty from the start then she could make her own mind up before things got serious.

Thankfully she was fully supportive and has stood by me through this difficult time. If they are the one they wont care and will stand by you no matter what.

He may be in a similar or same situation who knows?

Like others have said tell him and if he understands he's a good guy. at the end of the day you've done nothing criminal and you're doing everything to sort your debts out with an end date x