A North Yorkshire small holder buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, so he phones the local vet for help.
"Ah've gotten these here sheep, vitenry" he tells the vet, "but theres noot abaht them ... they winnet sprog."
The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.
The small holder doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself. So, he loads the sheep into his lorry, drives them out into the woods, does the dirty deed, brings them back, and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep, but they are all still standing around, he decides that the first try didn't take. So he loads them all into the lorry again, and drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.
"Tha's gooing te have te dee it agin", he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive them out to the woods yet again. He spends all day with the sheep and upon returning home, falls kernackered into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
"Nay lad," sez she, "they're all in't back 'o yon lorry , and one of them is beeping the horn.'
Have a great day ... summer has arrived [:)]
The best psychological health comes from admitting your faults and recognizing they're caused by someone else.
Wizzzard xxx
