Relationship in ruins because of money

[Broke of London]

Your husband will come round harrimav. The idea of being insolvent does take some getting used to because the 'how did i get here' will swirl around for a little while!

Entering an IVA doesn't make you insolvent; in fact it's one way to become solvent again. And as he is concerned about your future - the time limit on an IVA should provide him with some comfort.

[recovering]

I have told No-one about my IVA, I dread anyone finding out, I am ashamed of the mess I alone made but I suppose I am trying to clean it up on my own ... I sleep now! and I plugged my phone back in this week! first time since oct last year... 5th payment just made

[harrimav]

Again, appreciate all the openness! I am ashamed too but feel better just addressing it
Keep thinking will only be mid 40's til it's over and done !
A lot can happen between now and then but never
This low again I hope !!

[Broke of London]

Don't feel ashamed. Being in debt is not the worst thing you could do! Facing up to debt is difficult and it take commitment so you should feel proud of yourself for that.

x

[harrimav]

thanks. I am definately more proactive and want to do it. It's sort of entering into the unknown and knowing whether we can cope. My husbands view is that we both have good jobs and should be better off ( a lot better off ) at this stage in our lives and even when finished it'll be all doom and gloom. He even said you wont ever get credit again! I dont think he's quite got the point ! ha ha

[Niobe]

Has he read any posts on the forum?

People have finished and been able to get credit cards and mortgages!!

We overspent, pure and simple, nobody to blame but ourselves. The IVA is the best thing we have done in a long time.

[harrimav]

Hi

You sound like you were in a similar situation. Can i ask , do you find it really hard to live within the budget set. I really dont know how it can be anyworse as I sort have to live with what is left now but only by using the overdraft. I dread the text from LloydsTSB telling me I am over my overdraft limit!

[Shining]

To be totally honest I find living within budget fine most of the time and my life improved within an IVA. I used to pay all my creditors on time and what was left we had and believe me some weeks how I bought food I'll never know. Now I have allowances for everything and manage ok. Some months can be a bit tight but others if you have a few £ left put it away and it will mount up.

Any share of your overtime (if you are able to earn extra) can be saved too.

[Niobe]

We live within our means - it's a bit hard sometims but we manage.

The calls etc., from creditors are hard to deal with. We didn't answer the phone. Let it go through to voicemail and then delete. If you refuse to answer security questions then they can't contine.

Texts? Just delete them!!

[harrimav]

Yes I have been advised to do that and
start get a build a bit of a buffer for a couple of months.
That might help me sleep easier knowing I do have a little cash reserve
and not a credit one !

[Shining]

It's a good idea to build a contingency to enter the IVA with x

[harrimav]

Yes, hoping to do it of I can face
cancelling the DDs!

[Shining]

It's a scary time but once it's done it's done and you'll soon be on yoru journey to debt freedom. x

[Niobe]

We've all been there. It's not nice but it is necessary I'm afraid.

We're all here for you though, regardless.

[harrimav]

I know !