Dissapeared off the radar - update Mrs K

[MrsKnight]

Morning all, firstly please accept my most humble apologies, life has taken over again & as my pc is as slow as a snail! I don't turn it on that often, seem to use my phone for everything now.

We got sorted with a car locally after 10 long weeks without a car!I didn't scream from the roof tops about it in her or on FB as we just don't feel enthusiastic about cars anymore after what's happened. And guess what, yesterday the power steering went wrong, luckily I was just trying to get it off the drive, not even had it 2 weeks . Fortunately it came with a guarantee (3 months) & the garage we bought it from came and collected it & took it back in. So we have no car again & totally skint for taxis for work, hope they fix it soon.

Family wise, Things are not great, the boys & Leah are all fine, it's my parents & my husband taking up my spare energy & time.
My dads eye operation has been delayed as the surgeon & only one whom can do his op has hurt his hand. Meanwhile my dads sight is just getting worse. Then there's my mum he has to deal with.
Mum is now refusing treatment, refusing going to hospital for out patient appointments, refusing to go to the GP & refusing to eat. She's nasty & aggressive towards me & my dad, she says my dads hurting her by bashing her up, he's never raised his hand to her ever but she was abused as a child, so its stemming from there. I don't know what to do anymore & it's distroying my dads life that he has left.
My husbands condition, Ankylosing spondylitis has got worse, his neck & rib cage are now very restricted, he has little movement left in his neck, he can't turn his head or move it side to side or up & down & his lung capacity has been reduced that he can't take deep breaths. He is definitely & finally going to put put on the treatment he needs that costs the NHS £12,000 a year. The consultant is worried hubby will be crippled in 10 years time & will regret working now. The consultant met Leah I think she won him over! He wants he hubby to have as good a life as possible & to keep him working with having a family to support. And obviously to live a normal life as possible with his condition.
Me, I'm battling with depression again but at least it's not post natal kind, I'm still enjoying Leah she's my life line along with the boys.
Leah's rolling over now & wants everything! She's a very good eater too & likes her food!

I've not done anything about a F&F with GT I've had no time to think & it's just been easier to let it continue, I've had no strength in me to take it on.

I hope your all well, I think about u all lots & miss the forum! With everything & the summer hols, I still won't be able to pop on much x

[Pandy]

Glad to see your OK, have been wondering how you were. I hope your depression clears and life can ge tback on an even keel for you.
It is always horrible when parents get old and suddenly you have to look after them when they have always been stronger.
Perhaps you and your dad need to sit down and have the discussion about a home for your mum, even if it only for some respite care to give him and you a break. it must be really difficult for your dad to cope.
Keep in touch, I'm loving seeing the photo's of Leah and the boys on fb. You have a beautiful family.

[MrsKnight]

Hi & thank you.

Problem with my mum is she doesn't want to be helped & some of it is an act, which only makes it more painful for dad & I. I've had to have her sectioned before to get her help but the last time she was of "sound mind" to them & they would not section her, dad had to wrap her in a blanket & put her in the ambulance himself, as you can't force someone to have treatment. The GP is aware but when I get them to come see her, she puts on her little act.
I wasn't there for some of the visits from the mental health team & other specialists that came to see her as I was pregnant n had all those problems with Leah. And because of mums "act" she fooled them & got discharged, leaving dad at a total loss. I would of put them n her straight but I wasn't there.
Mum will never go into care and they won't take her unless she's willing & there's no one else in the family left to support my dad other than me x

[Shining]

Lyns, I definitely sympathise with the mental health issue, we're forever fighting the mental health team with my MIL. She's sectioned at the minute as she attacked the milkman! When will they listen to us and not her!

Anyway I hope you're feeling more positive soon. x

[MrsKnight]

Hi Lesley - I know u know what I'm talking about, you have had it really tough with the MIL, and your so right about the not listening to us part! I wish they would listen to me aswell!
6 times my dads been over today, my brain is fried but I'm his only life line & only person to keep him sane!

I'm ok - I'm not as bad as I've been in the past. X

[luluj]

Nice to hear from you...sorry things are tough for you at the moment....not long to go now and you will have one less thing to worry about!

[Niobe]

Sorry things aren't good Mrs K - hope family and car are sorted soon,

Given your hubby's health problems, have you tried to get the mobility allowance from DLA? If he qualifies then you could get a brand new car - worth looking into?

[MrsKnight]

Hi Niobe - thank you, do you know I've not thought of that, we're just going through a long process of screenings & tests for the hubby before he goes onto this treatment.
First appointment is next week I will ask then if they know if he is eligible with his condition x

[KM1512]

Mrs Knight sorry to hear that life is dealing you bad luck at the minute I hope and pray that you feel better because when you are feeling better it helps you deal with lifes mishaps - good luck

[Gina.gu]

Hiya wondered where you were so sorry to hear life is tough at the moment. As niobe says look into getting dla and use it to get a car . Regarding your mums mental health I really hope things pick up. I know how hard it is to get treatment. Being in an iva is hard and then when all the other problems pile on it can't take its toll. We have 3 of our older children with issues. One tried to take their own life 3 times one has paranoia a kind of bi polar disease and another panis in public. Because they are all over 18 wecaouldnt access mental health services besides counselling which they won't go to! Its shocking. Sometimes its crazy and they all relapse then its quiet for a few weeks. They are experts in tricking the professionals and the professionals don't seem to care. Apparently the threshold for getting mental health sectioning and care is so high.. So from the bottom of my heart I hope you find a way to cope. I hope things get better x

[Struzzo39]

Thinking of you. Virtual hugs coming your way xx

[MrsKnight]

Hi all thank u, cars now fixed the garage is near my husbands work so he picked it up, thank goodness it's under a warranty. I hope it's just one of those things & not a sign of things to come.

Gina I really feel for you, puts my own problems into perspective, I can't imagine how u cope, I hope & pray they all get better x

Mums been abit better today but I've had to lock my doors just to have a break from it all!

[Shining]

You do need some me time Lyns and don't feel bad for taking it, if things get too much lock that door even for ten mins you can then hopefully cope again refreshed. I often ignore the phone to my MIL as horrible as it sounds.

[MrsKnight]

Thank you Lesley & it doesn't sound horrible you do need a break from it all. I know this is the time that my mum sometimes takes a slow walk over, I just can't cope with her sometimes & I don't want to hurt her feelings.

[Shining]

I like it when she's sectioned as it takes the worry off of us as mean as that sounds. Almost two weeks now and doesn't look like she's coming home any time soon.